Bloom Where You’re Planted
They are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in its season, and their leaves do not wither. In all that they do, they prosper.
[Psalm 1:3]
Dear Summer…
In just a few weeks, I will be giving birth to your baby sister. You will soon be an Ate and I, a mom of two. We’re about to experience a big change in our lives but of course, I don’t expect you to understand everything that’s happening. I don’t expect that you’ll know how to be a big sister right away just as much as I don’t expect to fully grasp what it’s like to have more than one child. We are both new at this, babe. And we will both learn to adapt.
I want you to know that just because I can’t carry you as much because I’ll be nursing your sister half the time, it doesn’t mean that I love you less. Just because you can’t sleep beside me at night, doesn’t mean I care less. My love for you will not change or decrease. In fact, I think God is making my heart bigger so I can love you both fully and equally, just like the way He loves us all one and the same!
Summer, you will always be my sunshine. No one else can make me smile and laugh the way you do! And I know I haven’t been perfect. I have made mistakes which I’m working hard to never repeat. I hope I do a better job of taking care of you both. I bet it won’t be easy. You’ll probably find me frazzled and cranky at times. I’ll probably get a little bit more forgetful. Our house will surely get messy more often (not that you care). Maybe you and I will have misunderstandings. Things will probably get a little crazy but no matter what happens, no matter how big and incomprehensible this change is, I promise that it will not tear us apart but bring us closer to each other.
I’m so excited for you to have a sister. I guess because it’s something I never had. And I thank God that I get to see you grow up to become an Ate. I know you can do it. You’ll do a great job. And at times when you find yourself not knowing how to deal with things, Papa and I will do our very best to help you.
I love you very very much, baby girl! Thank you for being such a sweet, strong and funny little girl. The past fourteen months have been amazing and I’m so thrilled to find out what greater things life has in store for us!
With all my heart,
Mom
BLUEBIRD (Colored Pencils) I had a tough week. A part of me is thrilled that it’s over but another part wishes it could go back so I could handle it differently. I’m sorry and ashamed to say that I acted as if the world was out to give me a hard time. I acted as if everything that went wrong was other people’s fault and not mine. Maybe it really wasn’t but also, maybe there’s really nobody to blame and things just don’t always turn out the way I want it to. Either way, the week is over and here I am.
The baby is sleeping. My husband, who also had a full week, is out chilling with friends. It’s past midnight and I’ve decided to see things in a different light. I say a prayer of remorse for having acted so childishly and I choose to see things with a grateful spirit and a hopeful heart. I’ve said so many times how wonderful my life is but when things get tough, my vision blurs and I forget. I realize it’s so not worth it. The troubles of today is not worth losing my joy and excitement for life - even for a second!
I recently read that the bluebird is a symbol of happiness. I really don’t know the full explanation why but the image has kept coming back to me. We don’t have bluebirds flying around here in the city but I imagine I’d be delighted if I suddenly saw one. Beauty seen in an unexpected time, at an unexpected place lifts spirits. I aspire to live my life that way. I want to always see the good and the beautiful and the blessing. So tonight, I’ve started a gratitude journal. Every night, before sleeping, I’ll take a few minutes to look back at my day and write down at least three things that happened or I had encountered for which I’m thankful for. Tonight, I write these three:
1. The pleasure of having good ice cream for dessert (twice!)
2. My mom who sent me a text saying that she got me something and hoped I’d like it
3. Summer woke up an hour into her sleep but instead of staying awake to play (which she has done several times this week), went back to sleep right away.
Maybe you had a tough week like I did or maybe yours was easy and light. No matter how it’s been, it’s good to take a look back and take to heart the many blessings that came our way. Because there always is, no matter how big or how small.
